When did ‘pretending to care’ or ‘feigning interest’ become a loving gesture?

I’ve noticed this theme of “Pretending To Care” fast becoming a trend online and even in the real. It is now considered a common household theme, an act of kindness, sometimes a general rule of thumb, and/or guideline for “polite-living”

We, the people! We all try to lay the blame on different individuals and entities… Constantly!

We blame people/things like The Nazis, The Jews, The Terrorists, The Chinese, The Queers, The Straights, The Right, The Left, Mainstream Media, Hollywood, Marilyn Manson, The Simpsons, MTV, Hip-Hop, Violence on TV, The Kardashian’s, Tik Tok, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Trump, Bush, Obama, Trudeau, “Them”, “They”, The Government, and so on!

We pretend, we blame, we pretend, and we blame some more; AND we do this UNTIL it becomes a personal issue between people and even greatly translates into domestic life IMO

When feigned interest is coming from one’s mother, father, or grandparent it’s quite different and actually is a nice gesture… But, when it comes from a peer or partner in a relationship it’s quite the opposite! (From my personal experience)

If someone you’re close to is OFTEN discussing a specific topic or brings up subjects with similar themes repeatedly- then maybe you should sit down and ACTUALLY give them a few moments of your PRECIOUS time!

I don’t mean that “Sarcastically” or in a rude way…

Time is in-fact extremely precious and valuable! Time is something that once given away, cannot me returned, refunded, and can only be repaid in kind.

Time is the most important commodity in the world and so far we’ve not invented a way to synthesize it! (Thank God) even though video games and “Virtual Reality” is getting close, we’ve yet to really create TIME!

I guess what I’m trying to get as is this… I’ll give two very realistic examples of struggling relationships/scenarios that are VERY relatable –

Dorks – I know sometimes our dorky S/O’s won’t stop going on about that new nail polish or mascara that’s just simply “Lit!”, general things we don’t typically share an interest in – Sometimes it’s hard to listen to your wife rant on about herself… Especially, when they think most things you do for RECREATION is “laughable” – Respect is key however –(you found THE one, the one who is special and “different” than the rest of those other “bimbos” out there) Sometimes it’s hard to listen to her go on-and-on about what Jane and Joe did for their 4th vacation during the COVID-19 pandemic, how much the tanning bed’s cost, and why the veggie burgers taste EXACTLY the “same” as the REAL thing! Maybe Cosmopolitan Magazine and Vogue! are the only things that give your life partner that relaxation and escape from reality she needs… Taking care of the bills, the kids, the house, the food, the cleaning, and MUCH more! It can all get hard and sometimes people just like to be made to feel loved – the days blur into weeks, weeks into months, months into years… Pay attention to “How long it’s been!” since you really cared and weren’t busy “at work…” or somewhere else (Maybe, someplace you SHOULDN’T have been), our lovers and life partners more often than not become “Custodians” of our lives (cleaning up our messes BOTH literally and metaphorically) these people deserve and MUST be acknowledged and appreciated… Because if not – there’s 10,000,000 other people who will appreciate what they do! They’ll have their up’s and down’s just like ANYONE – But, acknowledgment and a feeling of appreciation TRUMPS even the best financial security and structured routine. There’s 100 people just waiting for your lover and life partner to show a moments grief, pain, or emotion… So, they can swoop in and be the shoulder to cry on! Often this is a good thing… But, it can also result in the person you love more than ANYTHING in the world being preyed upon by undesirables and predators! It’s easy for ANYONE to seem like a good person nowadays with social media… When things start to go bad, your woman has more than likely already had a few guys lurking in the background, sending texts while she was at work (these get deleted), and before you know it she’s left you for someone KINDER and GENTLER than yourself… For some odd reason this is OKAY for women to do – but if a man does it they’re instantly #cancelled! Don’t let your relationship fall apart simply because you didn’t want to take the time to listen to your gal talk about gossip, nails, hair, and pinterest! We all want to be heard, we all want to be appreciated, and we all want someone to SHARE our interests with us… If you aren’t going to “PRETEND” to be interested, some other person will, and sadly – they’re probably only “PRETENDING” for ONE reason at the start; and we all know what happens after that… A budding romance/relationship! This works both ways and can happen to ANY of us!

Nerds – I know sometimes our nerd S/O’s can be a pain or “turn–off“ when they talk about COD, WoW, or Fortnite (“With the Boys!”) and that it is a lot “cooler” and more “attractive” to see them wearing their hair in a MAN-bun-with 2 weeks of growth on their face, playing catch with the kids… I know that most girls want their man to look like Tom Hardy or Johnny Depp and they ACTUALLY look down and are ashamed of him if he shows his TRUE SELF… I know it’s hard to listen to that story about a “Triple-Kill” that “TOTALLY saved Kyle’s Ass!” or have him tell you about THAT fish they hooked, and how it WOULD have gotten away if it wasn’t for THEM being there, (It means nothing to you-but, he’s proud) and it’s damn good to be proud – people like to be “patted on the back” every now and again… Reminded that they’re appreciated! Every now and then those big-strong men would like to let out their inner nerd though, to stop being so strong, capable, and proud! Sometimes it’s nice to just let your guard down and talk about games, hunting, cars, sports, etc – showing an interest in things or letting your guard down DOES NOT mean you’re “WEAK” or “UNDESIRABLE” (don’t ever feel that way) All these strong and proud men had interests before they met you, while they were with you, and things you may have even PRETENDED to LIKE before y’all started a family; interests you were possibly more “ACCEPTING” of or “Okay, with!” up until the children came or life really set in… It’s really easy to run someone down, play into their WEAKNESSES, or make them feel ASHAMED for having an interest in “boyish” or “childish” things (yes, we all have them- EVEN MEN!) *gasp*– I know men who can LITERALLY move mountains, fight packs of wild wolves, do stunts on motorcycles, and are trained in armed/unarmed combat who have the biggest hearts and “Oddest” interests! I know people who’ve killed for their country that’ve turned into florists, librarians, relationship counselors, etc… Just because someone doesn’t keep up that hardened exterior or facade of power/control; does not ALWAYS mean they are “weak” or “incapable”… Sometimes it simply means they’re comfortable in their own skin and are TIRED of disguising who they are just to keep up appearances and to please someone else. There is more to life than what others think of you and what your newsfeeds on social media says! Don’t be afraid to show your interests! You’re allowed to like Manga, Romantic Movies/Novels, and to like being romanticized the same way women are… It’s okay if you want to be called “handsome” on the daily, it’s okay to cry, water flowers, and it’s even okay to PEE SITTING DOWN GD it!

Try not to let my gender “biases” or “stereotypes” offend you… I’m heterosexual and white (not an apology) – tis’ a fact!

I’m sure a lot of people reading this will find the above FICTIONAL situations eerily familiar… I sure do!

Nobody asked ANYONE to throw their interests away…

But, it sure is “IMPLIED“ these days in 2020. Let’s set aside the gender biases and double standards. We are drowning in political correctness and information – it’s literally tearing families apart and people are pretending it’s normal.

Women are being abused DAILY and it’s being covered up and labelled as “Love” or “Passion”

Men are being SHAMED and made to feel like suicide is their only escape from being Fake or “Weak”

Children are being sold, beaten, used, and abused internationally; both domestically and they’re being treated like some kind of “Business” – Meanwhile we are all fighting over the most TRIVIAL of BS

People are supposed to be COMFORTABLE in their own skin, in their own home, with their own family, wife, kids, and loved ones nearby… Lately, I’m seeing people constantly shame their S/O’s or dearest friends (typically, behind their back) in order to make themselves appear “superior” or “authoritative” and to be honest – it really makes me feel ashamed or sad for them.

WE CAN ALL HELP

WE CAN ALL SAVE LIVES
(Even our own)

WE CAN ALL DO BETTER

Thanks so much,

EhMaritimeSecret – Evan